The day I almost died
I have avoided getting too personal in most of my blog posts, but - as you have probably heard by now - I had a heart attack on Sunday, April 27, 2008. Since that day, I've heard from several of you that my experience has prompted you to take a closer look at your lives or for those in your life. With that in mind, I'd like to share with you my best recollection of the day I almost died.
Sunday, April 27, 2008, began as a very happy/sad day, right out of the gate. After spending a few great days with Josh, it was time for him to pack up and head home. We all said our goodbyes and I drove him to the airport. Merrin stayed home to begin the weekly grocery list ritual. (Making sure to account for the sacred Taco Night, of course).
We went to BJ's for some bulk items and then headed to Publix for groceries. We wanted to make it back to the house by 1:00-ish, so that I could watch most of the NASCAR race. With the exception of the early morning trip to the airport, it was looking to be just another typical Sunday at Chez Donahue.
Famous last words….
As I was loading the groceries, I began to feel very winded. I don't know a better way to describe it, but I was really, really winded. I wasn't having trouble breathing, but I felt like I couldn't get "caught up" on my breathing.
But this wasn't the first time this had happened that week. I had gotten winded a few times walking up the stairs of the parking garage at work and to/from lunch with coworkers. I had some muscle pain in my chest and shoulders. But… it hadn't been overwhelming and I could easily catch my breath within just a few moments at my desk. I honestly believed that my new medication was to blame — I had switched from Lipitor to Zocor earlier in the week — and both muscle pain & fatigue were potential side effects.
Maybe a small part of me doubted my self-diagnosis or maybe God had stepped in to guide me, but — in "mid-shop" at Publix Grocery — I had gone back to the medicine aisle and bought a bottle of 81mg aspirin.
After several minutes of trying to catch my breath in the car, we drove home and began planning for lunch. I went ahead and made a plate while Merrin went out by the pool to call her Mom. As I walked from the kitchen to the living room… I was terribly winded again. And the muscle soreness was back. And now it was in my chest and behind my left arm. And I couldn't get catch my breath.
It was at this point that I realized that something might be very, very, very wrong.
I went to the door and told Merrin I needed to talk to her and she began wrapping up her call. I went to the kitchen, opened the aspirin and took two. I tried to sit down and focus on my breathing, but… nothing was helping. I googled "heart attack" and saw everything I was experiencing. I was having a heart attack.
I went to the door again and insisted that Merrin come inside. She could see it in my face. Something was wrong. We needed to go to the hospital.
Merrin got everything together very quickly (IDs, insurance, checkbooks, etc) as I headed to the door. We pulled out and Merrin thought to ask if I knew my prescriptions. I couldn't think. I didn't know. Merrin ran back in and got my pill bottles. I was trying not to lose my composure. I was started to feel really worried, but I didn't want to worry her.
The drive to the hospital passed quickly. We would later be chastised for not calling 911, but we arrived at Celebration Hospital in less than six minutes. I remember telling Merrin at least once to tell the doctor that I had taken two aspirin and trying to be calm. She told me that she was dropping me at the Emergency Room and I was to go to the charge nurse and say 'the golden words' for an ER fast-pass: chest pain.
I came to the desk and said, "chest pain" several times as Merrin parked the car and ran in. I made eye contact with one of the nurses and she immediately directed the staff to run an EKG on me. Three minutes later, we were in Trauma Room 12.
From that moment on, the pace of things went from simply quick to OMGWTF hurried. While the staff at the hospital was completely calm and professional, it was clear that they were working very quickly. I was having a heart attack.
I was now "on the clock".
The doctor gave me six Plavix (a prescription blood thinner) and the RNs began connecting IVs. I was given a nitrogyclerin pill (isn't that the stuff in dynamite?) to slow my heart rate. The pressure in my chest slowly released to a comfortable level.
He said a lot of things — (blah) (blah) medical (blah) (blah) you'll be fine (blah) (blah). I was having trouble focusing on everything that was going on, but Merrin and I both heard the last word, "helicopter".
Everything went exponential.
Merrin was in tears. I was in tears. She called her father - a neurosurgeon - who talked her down from the ledge so that she could help me. She was instantly - amazing. And I needed it. I was in physical shock. I was shaking to near convulsions. I was afraid. No, I was scared - out and out terrified. I didn't want to die.
But Merrin calmed me down somehow. She called my mother and told her to drive in from Tampa. She kept telling me how much she loved me and that nothing bad was going to happen. That she loved me so much. And I knew it in my heart & soul and in my very core. We talked about our incredible life together and she promised me that we were going to have so many more. I was trying to remember everything I ever wanted to say to her. If this was the last time I was going to ever see her… I just wanted her to know that she was my everything.
The helicopter nurses came in and began moving me. I told Merrin again that I loved her again. We kissed again. She promised she would be there at the hospital.
"I love you most."
And then they whisked me off to the helicopter.
I don't remember much about the eight minute helicopter flight. I was scared. I didn't want to die, but I tried to come to terms with the thought that I might. I prayed. I thought about Merrin and my family and the dogs. But mostly, I thought about my wife.
The nurses had put me on oxygen and were making notes on their hands. I could see them talking into their headsets, but I couldn't hear them (the patient's headphones are for sound protection only) or read their lips. At one point, I made eye contact with one of the nurses. She continued writing on her hand and held it out for me to see, "UR DOING GREAT".
We landed at Florida Hospital and went immediately into the Cath Lab. It all happened so quickly that it felt like we never stopped once we hit the ground. Approximately 16 minutes ago I had been getting an EKG. Now I was in surgery about to undergo a heart catheterization.
The surgical team shaved both of my upper thighs with clippers and administered IVs. I would be conscious throughout the procedure. Within minutes, the doctors ran a catheter from my right femoral artery to my heart. They used a camera to inspect my heart and found a 95% blockage.
The doctors worked to clear the blockage and installed a 4.5mm metal stent in my heart. Within minutes, the stent had done it's job and restored 100% flow. Within 20 minutes or so, I was in surgical recovery.
The doctor told me that 50% of the patients he sees under age 40 don't make it to recovery. Half of them die on the table. Because the heart muscle becomes more durable with age, it can better withstand the stress of a heart attack as it ages and becomes stronger.
But I had taken an aspirin when I felt chest pain, and he had no doubt that it had saved my life.
Merrin arrived at the hospital and the doctor went to tell her the good news - I was going to be fine. And, since 6:00 on Sunday evening, April 27, 2008, I have been fine.
I know that I have a long recovery ahead of me and I'll be taking medication for the rest of my life. But… I am alive. And when you have come face to face with your own death, it feels good to say that.
I don't know why I bought aspirin. I can't explain what made me think to take two. I can't explain why I was one of the 50% who survived. Other than to say… God had and has a plan for me. There is more for me to do, see, and experience in this life. I may not know what it is, but I am 100% certain that there is a plan for me.
And I will always remember that when I think about the day I almost died.
Postlogue: To the Florida Hospital Staff
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43 comments
I love you so much, baby. You are my hero, and you are my everything.
Wow. I went through a "near death" experience myself many years ago (anaphylaxis…and I was at home alone), and it's very odd how, I believe anyway, a secondary set of senses kick into gear and know what to do when our primary senses start shutting down - in your case, the aspirin.
Thank God you're alright. Take care, and try to go easy on yourself.
Very well written. It made me cry. I thank God that you are still here with us. I'm not ready to let you go just yet. xoxo, love you.
Great post. It was as if I was experiencing it myself. I could feel your pain, your anxiety, your love for your wife and your desire to live. God bless.
A touching story Kev, and all of us at fanblogs are very happy that you are o.k., and pray that you have a speedy recovery. Go Noles, and Hook Em Horns!
Thanks, yall. I've been moved by your outreach, but also of the emails saying that you/your wives/husbands will be getting checked. Yall, hug your peeps and take care of yourselves.
Wow. I'm very glad you're OK. Looks like a coronary artery. Make sure you eat right and exercise, my friend.
I had a near death experience when I was 7. I picked up what I thought was a piece of candy–it turned out to be a marble. I choked on it for what seemed like forever until I got the idea to slam myself onto the ground, and it worked. I was freaked, and it still makes me sweat when I think about it.
L8r, K-Hue!
OMG!! Kevin, first I must say this is an amazing coincidence! I was in the emergency room at Florida hospital from about 4:30 to 7:30 on Sunday. My wife, daughter and I were eating an early dinner at CPK in Millenia Mall when my daughter started complaining that she couldn't seem to catch her breath. Since she was born with a heart murmur, we immediately took her to Florida Hospital. All of the tests proved inconclusive and her symptoms ended, so we took her home. The next morning she started vomitting and running a fever and we realized that she had picked up a virus. Not sure of that was related to the shortness of breath, but it's our best guess at this point.
Anyway, I'm glad you're feeling better. You had all of us fanblogs freaks very worried. Those stents are amazing things!
Dude I'm glad you made, I can't tell you how important you are in my life. I also told Camille to add aspirin to the grocery list because you just never know.
KD,
Seems you took excitement to the exteme here. I am so glad that you are on the mend and now will perhaps find more time for the beach and strolls with Merrin.
I thought the purpose of moving to Florida was for the ocean breezes, sailing & fishing and a more relaxed life style.
Your angels were working overtime on you this week - they never take a break but you need to get rest and listen to Nurse Merrin!
Be a good patient and get well soon!
Best wellness wishes!
Cindi
Hi Kevin. I don't know you but I am a friend of Camille's and have heard a lot about you and Merrin. Thanks so much for sharing your story. I am buying aspirin this week and forwarding this to my husband just to be aware of the warning signs. I am so glad you are OK. I will keep you and Merrin in my prayers. It sounds like the two of you are a wonderful couple with many great years a head of you. I am thankful you have a new beginning!
Thanks for making me cry, asshole. ;o)
I'm really REALLY glad you got help in time. We've known each other for so long, I feel like I know you. And like HELL you're going to die before we meet in person!
A couple important take-aways:
1) Even my cardiologist carries two 81mg aspirin in his pocket. If not for himself, for someone who just might need it.
2) The heart attack symptoms for men are different than the heart attack symptoms for women.
@Tom - tks!
@Ramblin - Not the fanblogs pow-wow I envisioned.
Glad to hear she is doing better. Let's both stay out of there for a while.
@nf0 - I love you, man. On the helicopter ride, I gave thanks for you, our friendship, and your entire family. Y'all have made me a better, happier man.
@ Cindi - Yeah, about that…. Guess I better get out on those beaches a little more often, eh?
@ Amy - Thank you so much for the kind words and for your prayers. We definitely appreciate it.
@Statia -
Oh Kevin. Yep, you made me cry, too. I'm glad you are typing to us now. I'm glad and thankful for the wife that you are always glad and thankful for.
@nf0 - I love you, man. On the helicopter ride, I gave thanks for you, our friendship, and your entire family. Y'all have made me a better, happier man. - Kevin! Stop making me cry!!!!!!!!!
Heart Attack Symptoms for Men: http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/actintime/haws/haws.htm
Heart Attack Symptoms for Women: http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/actintime/haws/women.htm
@Michelle - Yeah, she's a pretty amazing woman.
@ Camille - You know what… I may not stop for a while. I love you and I'm glad I have the chance to say it. I'm glad I got to talk to you when I was in the hospital. I'm glad that you're one of the first people that I wanted to talk to when I got home. I love you guys.
If we were all together right now, we would be laughing and hugging. So…. new rule — NO MORE CRYING.
OMG, Kevin—
I am so glad you are ok. I had heard this all happened and have wanted to get onto your blog to get the scoop. Thank you for sending it to me! I just recently started taking blood pressure medication although I am told my Cholesterol level is amazing (thank goodness!) But I have been told to take two aspirin each day with that medicine and I will now be carrying it in my purse from this day forward!
The Lord works in mysterious ways and you are blessed to have come out of this—I hope that He continues to support you and Merrin and may I be as fortunate if and when this happens to me.
As I sat at my desk and read your blog, I was really moved by it. Incredible writing! And so real, as if I had been in your shoes at one point… High blood pressure runs in my family and thankfully, it hasn’t killed my dad or mom yet at the ages of 67 and 71.
Please take good care of yourself and thank you for sending this to me. The lightbulb is brighter than ever right now!
All the best that you so deserve,
Kelly
@ Kelly - You take care, too… that way we can have many more Trikefests!!
Hi Kevin! I'm Kelly's Mom and have enjoyed you and your lovely wife's company on the Sales Trip to St. Johns. I sometimes carry aspirin in my purse but after reading your blog, I will make it a point to ALWAYS carry it. I am so very glad that you were in the lucky 50%. God bless both you and Merrin!
PS Kelly made me 7 years older than I am in her blog comment!!
Wait til I see her next!!!
KEVIN!! Oh my goodness!! I am SO SORRY to hear about your heart attack and the ordeal both you and Merrin went through. Praise GOD you are OK!! I will keep you both in my prayers! We never know when our last day on earth will be….we must be ready for anything at any time. I am so glad you had the foresight to take that aspirin. I think your guardian angel was working overtime that day! Be well and please take care of yourself….body and soul!! Blessings, Sue
Wow. I am so glad you are Ok. What a story. I want to pass this along to all of the men in my life to make sure they read this and take care of themselves.
I am so glad you have someone like Merrin. What a wonderful relationship!
This blog was forwarded to me through the internal email at Florida Hospital. As part of the Cardiology team we strive to do our best every day knowing that the next person through our doors will most likely need the type of care you did. Reading your blog brought a tear to my eye; it is an affirmation of our training, dedication, caring and spirit. Thank you for posting….
@ Kathy - Thank you so much!
@ Sue - Thank you for your prayers. I think you're right - my guardian angel has been working overtime.
@ CCL —
First and foremost, please allow me to say THANK YOU to you and the entire Florida Hospital family for your passion, professionalism, and caring.
It is one thing to provide care to a patient, it is another thing altogether to care about a patient.
I can tell you that every single doctor, nurse, technician, housekeeper, and dietary tech who helped me GENUINELY cared for me and my family. They asked questions and connected with me as a person. They used my name again and again. When you are scared and anxious, the connection created with a nurse who uses your name is enormous. I was never "age 34 stent in 13-1", I was Kevin, a man with a wife and family.
Unfortunately, there was so much going on that I cannot recall everyone's name that showed me such compassion (Gloria, Jose, Bonni, Marco, Freddie Jo, and many more), but I can picture their faces clearly and I can tell you that I will not forget the way they way they cared for me.
I don't know if it is en vogue (or even acceptable) to refer to doctors and nurses as "care givers", but I can tell you with complete certainty that the team at the Florida Hospitals *are* care givers.
I know that the hospital's motto is, "The Skill to Heal, The Spirit to Care." And I couldn't say it any better myself.
hey there…. I was one of your nurses in the cath lab when you had your heart cath! I got this blog forwarded to me through my work email too! Thanks for your kind words about our staff. You were such great patient! I hope that you and your wife have a long happy life together!
Kristin - I just want you to know how much I appreciate you and everyone in the Florida Hospital family. My wife and I owe you a huge debt. Thank you so much for everything you did for me and all you do for the Cath lab patients.
Man, thank the Lord you're doing better and that you had the presence of mind to take aspirin! I am beyond happiness to hear that you are doing better. Please let us know if we can do anything for you and we hope to see you soon! Your experience has made me think about what life would be without Robyn and the boys and it got me to schedule a physical for next week on the 8th and I'll definitely be requesting an EKG. Take care of yourself!
It's hard for me to read this without tearing up — not just because it was you (and it's very much because it was YOU) — but also because I firmly believe you will have saved my husband's life one day, and got through to him in a way that I never have been able to or never could. My warnings became "real" this week, and I hate that it had to be YOU — but I thank you so much for your openness and honesty along the way. You and Merrin have been in my prayers all week and will continue to be. You're both lucky to have each other — and we're lucky to have you.
@ Todd - Thank you, brother. I really do appreciate it.
@ Robyn - Wow. I don't even know what to say. I've barely been able to wrap my brain around the events of this week and to hear someone say that it is going to make a difference in *their* lives…. Wow.
Thank you for the prayers and the love from Chez Pollman. See yall soon, I promise.
I just wanted to write and say that I am so happy that everything went well with you recent heart attack.
I know you don't know me, but when I read your blog it was like deja vu (I know that isn't the correct spelling, sorry) You see it was just a little over a year ago that my husband had a heart attack at age 43.
We were on vacation/business in Orlando and staying at the Nickelodeon Family Suites. We too, went to Celebration ER where my husband did die and they brought him back and then couldn't air flight him because of weather and took him in an ambulance to Orlando and there he recieved a stent in his Right Coronary Artery. My son's and I made our way over to the hospital and Thank the Lord he made it! He did not smoke and excercised daily but was overweight. He also had a strong family history! He has since recovered and lost 65 lbs and exercising daily.
We are from Oregon but will be forever grateful to the staff and Drs. at both Celebration and Florida Hospital for the care they gave to my husband. It was the very best! We believe that we were there for a reason and that if we had been at home the outcome may have been completely different.
Take care of yourself and my prayers will be with you and your wife.
Karin Noonan from Klamath Falls, Oregon
I haven't been checking facebook for updates much lately; for some reason I decided to this morning and I saw this post. I am SO glad you grabbed those aspirin and I think you can definitely chalk that one up to divine powers, good karma, and maybe just subconscious will to fight on after getting an ominous signal from the engine room. This is a powerful post and I hope it echoes through the search-o-sphere for years to come. Never turn your back on a second chance in anything and keep being the best "KD 2.0" you can possibly be! Should we finally meet your next broccoli shake is totally on me.
The tears are rolling down this face…after reading Merrin's post earlier in the week I bought a bottle of aspirin and will now put a few in my purse to have with me ~ right next to the benadryl.
You/me/we/us have hardly began to live life so I am thankful that you got *fixed up* to conquer the wonderful parts still to come!
Dear Kevin,
As one of your helicopter friends for your "8 min flight", I wish to extend my sincere joy that you have done so well since we met you under extreme circumstances. My partner and I remember that you and Merin gave us quite the laugh as we walked in on the tail end of your witty conversation together! You were a wonderful patient and were very brave considering how much was going on around you and the many endearing thoughts racing through your mind. We strive to make a difference in the lives of every patient (and their families) that we meet every day and you and your loved ones will remain a part of us and our prayers indefinitely. I am tickled that you found comfort in my "handwritten assurance" that you were doing great during your flight. Please feel free to come visit us in flight medicine (at FL Hospital Orlando) if you're ever in the area! We as a team wish you the very best of health and a lifetime of happiness! God bless!
Florida Flight 1
Kevin, so glad that you are ok. I'm Robyn's mother (guess that makes me Todd's MIL!). Thank you for your candid writings, and for getting so many people to stop and think, and to buy some aspirin. I will be buying some also. This will get forwarded to my husband, too.
We were praying for you in Oklahoma. Happy for you and Merrin that all is well.
@ Karin - Sounds like your husband and I had the same guardian angel here in Orlando!
@ Matt - Broc shake?! I'm there!
@ Steff - Without question, Merrin is the best thing to ever happen to me.
@ Annon - You have no idea how much your little note meant to me. I will always remember that simple act of compassion.
@ Rhonda - Thank you for your prayers. You've got an amazing daughter and SIL and I'm very honored to have them in my life. Thank you for spreading the word about the aspirin. As I have been telling people…..
Regardless of your health history, please tuck a couple of aspirin into your purse or pocket every day. I pray to God that you won't ever need them, but you never know when you might be in a room with someone who does.
Kevin, It is so great to hear about how well you're doing! It was our pleasure to transport you the cath lab at FH Orlando. You have a great attitude and for you to share your story with others is a gift to anyone who reads it! I'll make sure my husband reads it too! I'll never forget what your response was when I asked you if you knew why we were all swarming around you. You said, "Is it because I'm so hot?" What a hoot! Take care of yourself and your precious wife!!
Dear Kevin,
I loved your story. It also made me cry! I work in Celebration ER and it isn't every day that we get to hear about the outcome of our patients that are flown out. We are all very happy to hear that you are O.K. Stay healthy and enjoy life! God bless you!
P.S. I had heart failure at the age of 29, So there is no specific age! I am also lucky and happy to be here!
Karen
This blog was forwarded to me though Florida Hospital Email. I work at Celebration in the ER. I am so glad to hear you are doing fine. It is very touching to read your story and your reply from loved ones….this is one of the pleasures of working in the ER is being able to see a patient doing well and all of the family it has touched in the process…
I wish you and your family the best in all the years to come.
@Kari - Thank you so much for the email and I'm so glad you found my blog post. You and Tamara were amazing. You truly were my "air angels"!!! I know the two of you are working together next Tuesday (5/13) and both Merrin & I are going to try to make it down to thank you in person. I know your schedule means that we may not get to see you, but… you made such an impact in my life and I need to come down and try to say thank you in person.
I want to thank you and your team *so* much for caring for me. I don't even have the words to describe how grateful Merrin and I are for what you did to ensure that I got the help I needed.
I hope to see you next week, but… if you are called away… please know that you will always be in my thoughts and prayers.
@ Karen & @Cori - Thank you for the email and for reading my story. I can tell you without any doubt in my mind that the actions that the Celebration ER team took with me ***saved my life***. The doctor, nurses, and techs were amazing and extremely professional.
Thank you for all you do every day. I know we don't stick around the ER long enough to say "thank you", but I can assure you that the patients remember you faces, your passion, and your caring.
it's great to read a story with a happy ending to start the day.
Wow. I've been paranoid about this sort of thing lately; lost my dad 2 years ago to heart disease. Your post made me realize I don't have to be paranoid, I just have to pay attention and be prepared. Thanks…
Very, very chilling post. If anyone doesn't see your well-written post as a wake-up call, nothing will serve that purpose for them.
As Kleph mentioned on another blog about your story, you read about heart attacks and heart disease all the time, but you never put much thought towards it sometimes until too late. I don't know you, never heard of your blog, but after reading your story I am very thankful that it worked out great for you.
Through your writing, I really felt like I was there watching it all happen and was anxious because I could nothing to help you. I wish my wife and those around me know how to take charge of the situation like you described how your wife did when it became evident you were ion trouble.
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