Dancing in the sheets

Like several of you, I know two people that own a bed. This couple called me the other night to relate a problem they were having between the sheets – namely a "lumpy" mattress.

In an attempted remedy to the problem, they had spent 20 minutes or so implementing a tried & true Kevin Donahue suggestion: roll in the bed to even out the lumps.

As fate would have it, rolling in the bed did not remove the lumps.

"Really??" I asked. "Huh. Tell me how you were doing it."

"Well, you know," the female bed owner began, "just rolling."

"Which direction?" I asked.

"Umm…well, side to side," she replied.

Rather enthusiastically I explained, "Well there's your problem. You don't roll side to side. I mean, that's just silly. That's the same direction you lay when sleeping. You have to roll top to bottom."

"Oh." She said thinking through my Ken Jennings sounding response. "Okay, we'll try that, I guess."

I haven't heard back from them on this since that conversation, so…clearly this up & down bed motion has improved their slumber. Or, maybe not. Either way – it was good for a laugh around here.

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One thought on “Dancing in the sheets”

  1. Hummm ….. I can see a daytime talkshow in your future.
    Cusiously, I wonder why anyone would call someone else about a lumpy mattress.
    Cause your in the Hotel industry?

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