New email virus could be dangerous

There's a new email virus that could be a realy dooxie if we don't get the word out a little. The new virus may appear as an email from a friend with the subject ""our private photos ???." Opening the e-mail triggers the virus into action.

The virus installs an SMTP server on the infected computer and turns the system into an email server capable of sending thousands of infected emails.

Update the scanners, kiddies. As always, the free AVG is greatness.

Warning to kids: Reading Hurts

As I have said many, many times – reading sucks. Now doctors are (finally) agreeing.

Children spending hours upon hours reading (gross!) are reporting neck pain, sore eyes, headaches, and other symptoms.

"Two patients read the book lying prone, and the third propped the book on her legs and rested her head on a pillow," wrote Dr Bennett, of Washington, DC.

"In all cases, the pain resolved one to two days after the patient had finished the book," Dr Bennett wrote.

There you have it – further proof that reading is bad for you. Remember – movies good, reading bad.

So, So much wrong with this

I don't even know where to start. There is so much wrong with this. A 12 year-old girl and 14 year-old boy are under investigation for having oral sex in science class.

First, it's just wrong that kids this age are involved sexually. A 12 year-old girl?! Second, it's wrong that it would go unnoticed by the adult in the classroom. Hello?! Third, why in the hell are a 12 year-old and a 14 year-old even in the same science class?!

Finally, are charges being brought against just the boy? Aren't they both equally guilty of … welll … err … something.

Trick or Treat Time

In an hour or so, it will be time to start opening the door to all the little neighborhood ghosts and goblins. This is our first halloween in the new neighborhood and I have no foggy idea what to expect. I went to Wal-Mart and bought at least a dumptruck full of candy. I have no idea how many kids live in the neighborhood, but I certainly don't want to have to run out and get some more candy at 7:30p.

There's a report out this week that says the average American family spends $14.41 on Halloween candy.

Can that even be right? Even if you were to buy total crap-o-la candy (like those peanut butter "drops" in black & orange wrappers) and even if you bought it all on sale (like the after-Halloween sale and then let it just sit for a year), I'm hard pressed to come out spending less than $30. This year blew that way out of the water. So if I'm on the high side, how much are you spending for candy?

Let's hope that we have some trick-or-treaters this year. Otherwise, I'm going to end up in diabetic shock!! I love you, mini-Snickers!

Blame it on the Red Bull

Britney Spears has finally come clean with why she's shown so much skin at such an early age. According to a AP report:

…referring to the Esquire cover on which she wears nothing but a white sweater and high heels.

"I was in a moment. I had, like, eight Red Bulls and said, 'OK, let's do it.'

See, it was the Red Bull. It's not that she's like…a tramp…or anything. It's the Red Bull.

Garbage Disposals

OK. Who knew that there is a reset button on the bottom of most in-sink disposals? Not me. Not the wife. Not the Readers Digest Home Repair Book.

Who knew? The plumber knew. He pressed the button, took the check and was out the door in less than three minutes. It took longer to write the check than it did to fix the thing. Damn.

Secret Decoder Ring

Someone managed to smuggle this out of the Vault of All Things Woman. Hopefully it will help us all in our quest to better understand the "fairer" sex:


This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they
are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe
how a woman looks – this will cause you to have one of those

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that
your football game is going to last before you take out the trash,
so it's an even trade.

This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing"
is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to
turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually
signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows! )
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over
"Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care"
You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes,
followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about
"Five Minutes" when she cools off.

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an
idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time
standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean
that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and
she will stay content.

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make
to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and
hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done.
"That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in
conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some
mighty big trouble.

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the
chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for
doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance
with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint!! Just say you're welcome.

This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A
Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you
have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the
"Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud
Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"

Seen in various forms via email and (most recently) at BadMoney.

NFL Network coming in November

Beware football fans, the NFL Network is coming to a cable/satellite provider near you on Election Day, November 4, at 8pm ET.

DirecTV subscribers will get NFL Network free as part of the basic packages.

What is the NFL Network?

The first 24-hour, seven-day-a-week cable and satellite television network dedicated solely to the NFL and the sport of football. NFL Network will feature original programming, the 100 million-foot film library of NFL Films, and preseason games (beginning in 2004). NFL Network is a gathering place for all elements of football. The fans, players, owners, coaches, officials, teams and the league will congregate daily on NFL Network.

Oh, so like NFL Gameday and Classic Sports, but on crack? Exactly.