First it was "The Nashville Network". Then it became "The National Network". And beginning June 16th, it's "SpikeTV". What the hell?
SpikeTV is "the first network dedicated to delivering programming for the modern man." Oh, I get it. So, well rounded programming like TLC meets Comedy meets History meets PBS meets ESPN, right? Not even close.
Apparently the "modern man" isn't too terribly interested in much more than Star Trek and Pamela Anderson. "New shows include Stan Lee's Stripperella, starring Pamela Anderson as a cartoon stripper-turned-superhero, and Gary the Rat, another animated series featuring the voice of Kelsey Grammer as a rodent who practices law." Again, I say, what the hell?
Why not just rename the whole damn thing The Baywatch Network?! They could show nothing but Baywatch and beer commercials during the week. Weekends would be nothing but football, beer commercials, NASCAR, VIP and Pam Anderson movies. (Actually, SpikeTV is one step ahead of me there with their branded websites: ILovePam.com and AreYouBaywatch.com.)
By the way – what's the world's record for jumping the shark?