I don't know my phone number

In honor of the Lenten season coming to a close, I have decided that I am going to come clean and just confess. I've been living in shame for months and I cannot bear the burden any longer. I cannot stand to bear this painful secret any longer. I must let it out. I only hope that you will be merciful.

I don't know my phone number.

Yes, it's true. I don't know my phone number. When we moved into the new house, we got a new phone number and I cannot recite it without assistance. When I go places that ask me for my phone number (like the dry cleaners, for example) I have to pull out my cell phone, speed dial the house, and see what number comes up.

I may need a medic alert bracelet. I may need one of those "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!" alert necklaces. I may need to pin an envelope to my shirt with directions on how to return me to my home if I'm found wandering. I cannot remember my phone number.

It's hard to carry a dark secret around. I feel better by simply having admitted it. I am a tool.

17. April 2003 by Kevin Donahue
12 comments

Comments (12)

  1. Don't feel bad – I'm the same way with my cell phone. It's so bad, that I can never give the number out – Sam has it on speed dial and is the only that calls me on it. Otherwise the phone is completely useless to me.

  2. At least you outed yourself. I was beginning to wonder if I was gonna have to do it for you (not unlike the way you stare at me with a glazed look, silently begging for me to rush to your aid when someone asks for our number. It's okay, though. At least one of us is still in full possession of our mental capabilities (and before you can hurl an insult, I was talking about me!!! :)

  3. I had the same problem when we moved. I've worked at my company for over 3 years now and still don't know the 800 or regular number for that matter…

  4. The really sorry part that I didn't reveal is that I do know what my phone number spells. So, if I'm near a phone, I can type it out. How bad is that?!

  5. First I'm rolling at the confession! Now, I am saddened by the fact that you know what your number spells but don't know the freakin digits! That shit is just funny.

  6. I did the same with my ATM card, the only problem was that when we went to Germany there were no numbers on the ATM's so I would have to draw out this mental picture of a key pad in my mind to get the numbers right.

  7. I am a mystery wrapped in a enigma.

  8. ATM is easier because of the Braille. Don't ask.

  9. I can understand the braille aspect, its dark out, your in deep ellum need cash fast can't see, can't read, can barely stand up.

  10. It doesn't even spell anything cool. At least our last number spelled "one spam".

  11. Okay. Do you guys always try to figure out what your number spells? I don't have a clue if any of our number spell anything, but I'll be damned if I'm not fixin' to find out!

    And Braille? WTF? You can read braille?

  12. But if you have the # programmed in to your cell phone, so that you can figure out what it is easily in any situation, why should you remember it? That's one more brain cell you could do something else with. :)