Coffee? BLECH!!!!

Why are people so fascinated with coffee? I don't get it. I never have and I probably never will. Everyone I work with has to stop down every morning and get 2-3 cups of coffee. Why? I don't know. Maybe it's just the social interaction. Maybe they think, "I'm a professional in a professional workplace. I should drink coffee." Who knows?

So what have I got against coffee? Well, #1 – it's hot. I live in Texas. I've already got plenty of "hot". Give me something not hot and that'll get the ball rolling. Give me something…I don't know…cold and we're really getting started. #2 – It kinda tastes like…old water or something. I can't describe the taste other than to say that coffee tastes exactly like coffee, and not in the good way. #3 – Coffee gives you some nasty breath. Ever go up & chat with someone who's drinking coffee? They open their little mouth and this vapor wafts out like something from Gremlins. Nasty. #4 – If you have to put x sugars or x creams or x shots of whatever into your coffee, what's the point? Clearly, you don't like coffee either or you would drink it black. Think about that one and get back to me because you know – deep down – I'm on to something there.

No, I'm not a coffee drinker. So that begs the question: What do I drink? Well, lots of things but let's assume for now that both you and I mean, "What do I drink as an alternative to coffee?"

I go through some phases on drinks. For example, I am currently loving Diet Vanilla Coke. Ummm. Heaven. I'm still recovering from my love affair with Diet Dr. Pepper. It's a good substitute for any time the stupid Kroger's is out of Diet Vanilla Coke. Of course, those are my "at home" vices.

At work, I generally drink water or iced tea throughout the day. Water is convenient (the dispenser is just around the corner) and it's supposedly good for me (not a factor in my decision process). Iced tea is great, but it's also housed across the resort grounds in the kitchen. That's a pretty long walk if I want to have…say…three glasses a day.

At lunch, I'll usually have an iced tea or a Diet Coke. What I'm eating is usually the determining factor. Something light like a Turkey Rueben from Jason's Deli warrants an iced tea. Something terrible for me (like Chik-fil-a) calls for the Diet Coke. I guess I'm saying if there's a drive-thru, I'm getting a Diet Coke. Buildings without drive-thrus, iced tea.

So, back to coffee, what gives? How can you drink that stuff? Even worse, how can you pay $4.00 for a cup of coffee??

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2 thoughts on “Coffee? BLECH!!!!”

  1. Coffee is the reason that mornings were invented. Dr. Pepper, too, for that extra sugar boost. Clearly, you have no understanding of chemical dependence.

  2. Okay. Coffee is pretty much only good to me at my in-laws house. and usually only 1 cup.
    My morning pick-me-up? Red Bull.
    My lunch drink? Water.
    My in-between drinks at work? Water.
    My drink of choice at home? Iced tea. no sugar.
    I make a pitcher of cold brew tea just about every day.
    My junk food drink? Coke or Dr. Pepper.

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