Chain emails

My wife, whom I love very much, knows exactly how I feel about chain emails; however, you may not know that I think they're the scourge of the earth. The hog up bandwidth that makes the internet slower than necessary.

Just to prove the rule that all chain emails are junk, here is the exception: (You can't officially have a rule unless there are exceptions to it, can ya?!)

Courtesy of Merrin:

1. LIVING ARRANGEMENT?
I live with my wife & 3 dogs in a house we bought about three years ago.

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Maxim. (OK, so it's a magazine…big deal! I only read once or twice a day! :wink)

3. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
My mouse. Duh? Actually I've got an old mouse pad from techteam. Why? Don't ask me. I have no idea.

4. FAVORITE CARD GAMES?
Blackjack…err, jack that happens to be black…to be politically correct.

5. FAVORITE MAGAZINES?
Dang! Enough with all the reading questions! I already told ya…Maxim.

6. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Saltwater, my wife's perfume, my wife's hair, and the way the bathroom smells after my wife takes a shower.

6b. LEAST FAVORITE SMELLS?
Anything that used to be inside of an person/animal and was expelled. And hydraulics. I hate the smell of hydraulics.

7. FAVORITE SOUNDS?
Buffett, my wife's voice, an acoustic six-string.

8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
What kind of question is that? I don't like things that feel bad. I most dislike whatever feels the worst.

9. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP?
I'm a boy. What do ya think?!

10. FAVORITE COLORS?
I don't know. I'm rather fond of blue.

11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?
If I can locate the phone, usually 2 or 3.

12. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME?
I think it would be funny if I could name a kid William Robert so I could call 'em "Billy Bob". I think Merrin's fond of Gordo. (Just kidding!) I'll push for more family names whereas Merrin will want a more unique name. I like Joseph Patrick for a boy, in honor of my grandma and sainted mother. I would to work my brother's name in there somewhere, too. And my Dad's name. And some name's from Merrin's family, too. So either I'll have a couple of kids or my child will have a scroll instead of a driver's license! :grin

13. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE?
Probably being happy…or money. I'd like both. I'm happy, but it would be nice to have some more money.

14. FAVORITE FOODS?
Most of the things I can't/won't/shouldn't eat: Grippo's, summer sausage, tacos, anything with Cream of Mushroom soup, and dressing balls.

15. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
Chocolate. Unless they're out, then vanilla.

16. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?
Yes.

17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
No…you sicko!

18. STORMS?
My favorites (in order): Thunderstorm, hail storm, my wife when she's angry, hurricane, and snow storm.

19. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
Volkswagen

20. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE?
What…would I? Yeah, OK. I'd do that. Who? I don't know. Maybe I'd have a big dinner party with Jesus, Ronald Reagan (when he wasn't senile), Steve Martin, Jimmy Buffett, Ben Franklin, Pete Rose, and Thomas Jefferson.

21. FAVORITE DRINK?
Diet Dr. Pepper or a Margarita

22. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?
Gemini

23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?
Yep!

24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT
WOULD IT BE?

PA guy at a baseball stadium, maybe. Or a king.

25. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR?
No. Mine's about 80% brown and 20% gray. It works for me.

26. EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
Yep.

27. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?
Half-full.

28. FAVORITE MOVIE?
I hate questions like this! I guess Leap of Faith, Rounders, Saving Private Ryan, Men of Honor, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, and Tommy Boy.

29. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT
KEYS?

No, I'm much faster using my own method.

30. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?
I defer to the wife. I have no idea where anything is in this house!

31. FAVORITE NUMBER?
Seven

32. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?
Football

33. IF YOU COULD BE ANY ANIMAL, WHAT WOULD YOU BE?
This is one of those trick sex questions, isn't it? I guess I'd be a tiger. I have no idea why. They just seem cool.

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