What do I feel today?
Nervous. I think that's the right word. It's hard to say exactly. If I were to think about it less, I might give a different answer. Like if I were on the $25,000 Pyramid and the clue was, "What are you feeling?" I might rapid fire some answers: afraid, nervous, anxious, scared, alone, uncertain, tired.
I got the news via the coconut telegraph (ie. rumor mill) that my resort was being bought and that the new owners were brining in a different management company. I have ((literally)) no idea what that will mean for me.
Sometimes companies like to take their employees and send them to new cities. (GULP!) I have no idea where I might move or if I will be asked to move. Like I said, "sometimes" they move folks. In turn, sometimes they don't. Which –of course– can be loosely translated as, "Best of luck to ya." (GULP!) On the flip side, do I want to move?? Does Merrin?? I mean, if I say to her, "Gee honey, they offered me a great position in Hawaii," then I'm guessing she's all for it. But, if they offer me just my same job/benefits in like…Kansas City (no offence), do either of us want to move or would we rather see me out on the streets trying to find something here? I mean, Fort Worth = Home.
But, I'm getting ahead of myself. Like I said, I have no idea if my company is going to offer me a position in another market at all.
Sometimes the new management likes to retain "key" individuals. Like it's not bad enough that you could be out of a job, but to have someone that doesn't know you at all inform you that you are/are not a "key" individual is just the kind of Hallmark moment I need!! To make things only slightly worse, I know nothing about the new hotel management company. Is it a good company to work for? Don't know. I'd like to know, because I might have to make a life altering decision this week. I think it would be a good idea to know if I'd be better off with a new company or better off without them. Respectfully, I understand this entire decision would be based on their evalutation of me.
Just when I thought I couldn't take anymore, I have to come to grips that I could end up being that one kid that doesn't get picked at all to go play kickball. I could end up standing on the sidelines with nothing. Wouldn't that be fun?!
Don't get me wrong, I know a lot of people and I feel confident that I can get on somewhere pretty quick, but I had this whole career thing headed in the right direction. I was on the right train. Heck, I think I was on the fast track. Now I'm just sitting here with one arm wrapped around my legs with my knees tucked against my chest. My other arm supports the hand which holds the icepack firmly against the guaze wrapped around my head. I'm just sitting here wondering, "How did this train wreck happen?" Meanwhile I've got the pitiful facial expression of one of Amtrack's many satisfied customers.
GRR! DO YOU SEE WHAT THIS IS DOING TO ME?? I'M DESCRIBING MY CAREERS IN TRAIN METAPHORS, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!! BAD, GOVERNEMTN SUBSIDIZED, TRAIN METAPHORS!!
If this is the first time you've heard me mention this, well – I just found out myself about 12 hours ago. Please don't pepper me with questions because I DON'T HAVE ANY ANSWERS. None. I literally do not know and I may not know until the end of next week.
Meanwhile, things are great at home. My wife, who's incredibly successful in her job as well, is heading off to her nationals convention and trade show. While I hate the timing (she's supposed to stay here and keep me sane! :wink), it's hard to not just have a huge smile on my face when I think that she's off to her meeting. She's been with the B&N for 6 years. She worked her way up from a Christmas temp (the only temp they kept that year, she might remind you) to management to Grand Poobah. She gives a lot of herself to her job, but I'd never fault her for it. I may whine selfishly from time to time, but I admire her incredible commitment and passion. If you ever want to meet someone that truly loves what they do, stop in and see Merrin.
It would be great if she could be here this week. And, knowing her, she's thinking the same thing, too. She knows I need her to keep me sane.
Merrin — if you're reading this — please don't feel bad for not being here. You're already here.
I'm really just proud of her. I want to see her go off and do well. It's always me that leaves for far away sales trips & conferences. I know she's proud of me for the what I've become professionally. Besides, I always remember to bring her something back when I'm gone — maybe she'll return the favor! :smile
PS– If you want to email me with fabulous job offers, that's perfectly OK! :wink